Crack!Chapter Eight of "Spoiled for Choice": like an AU but HORRIBLE

[x_losfic]

gothic_hamlet: *HAS COME UP WITH A STUNNING IDEA FOR SPOILED FOR CHOICE*
gothic_hamlet: When coming out of his coma, in his weakened state, the Doctor has in fact fallen victim to the cheetah virus
gothic_hamlet: And so to prove his truuuuueee luuuuufff, the Master becomes a cheetahman as well.
gothic_hamlet: And turns the Valliant into a whimsical jungle, full of antelope and water buffalo
Chapter 8 is full of hot and steamy cheetahsex, as well as a special appearance of goosnake* aka the water moccasin that lives down in the basement
gothic_hamlet: For it was then that the Master realized that his grand evil empire was worthless and dull compared to the sight of the Doctor chomping away at a steaming deer carcass.
Me: YES?
gothic_hamlet: YES.
Me: YES!
Me: AUGH
Me: I HATE YOU SOOOOO MUCH
gothic_hamlet: I THINK YOU MEAN "LOVE AND AM GOING TO WRITE THIS IN CHAPTER 8"

*Goosnake: Our ‘affectionate’ name for whatever the fuck happened to the Master in the eight movie, where he gained magical freakin’ powers and transformed into what appears to be part Cobra, part one of those goo toys with the plastic wrappers that slide in your hands and are hard to hold onto and may have like little fish inside, all Time Lord.

Comments

[skipthedemon.livejournal.com]

The TV movie was so Eight's cracked out post-regeneration, OMG. Or that wasn't really they Master. Because. No. Just no.

[x-losfic.livejournal.com]

God, I was so traumatized the first time I saw it. I had the whole 'wait, did Ainley!Master just die there in the beginning?! AUGH!' angst.

Yeah, no, it so can't be. I have a crack theory to explain this noise that I had to work into a following bit of this chapter. That's how much I can't deal with this being true: I had to write ELABORATE RETCON.