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x_losficTitle: Five Failed Schemes for Universal Domination (drabbles)
Rating: PG (Gen! I wrote gen!)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
x_los
Pairing/Characters: Koschei, Brax, Delgado!Master, Six, Ainley!Master, Eight, Cheetah!Master, Jacobi!Master
Summary:ushas42 asked for my "top five 'take over everything' Master!plots that we never saw because the Doctor foiled them off screen, someone else foiled them, or they just fell apart on their own. In chronological order.
Senatorial Page
Koschei and Brax
(Think Ancient Rome, Not Harry Potter)
The newly elected Under-Chancellor cornered his Patronus in the hall.
“Four hours.”
“Hm?”
“I had to listen to Goth talk about ceremonial objects the Sash does and does not clash with for four hours.”
His Patronus smirked. “I’m hardly surprised the Chancellor thinks he’s a sartorial luminary. The work of government on Gallifrey largely consists of trivialities. And wearing neckerhats.”
“But when do I get to be President?”
“Never,” Braxiatel said with infinite repressed bitterness.
“Sod this,” Koschei decided, “I’ll con some lower species into letting me have real power. And a fancier title!”
Tic Tac Toe
Delgado!Master
Soon after he was elected President of the Tussini Empire, he ruined its impeccable reputation by annexing the weaker systems nearby. Resistance petered out in the new territories when their economies fared better under his control. Domestic opposition was dealt with discreetly. His hypnotic weekly addresses made the citizens feel safe. His projected lifespan encompassed millennia. He could afford to amass still greater power slowly.
When he discovered the Doctor had been exiled and confined to planetary arrest—which explained why he hadn’t dropped in to try and upset the Master’s arrangements—he abandoned his bleak, solitary triumph with a strange relief.
If you’re wondering whether the Master’s Stefano, yes.
Ainley!Master and Six
“I can’t ‘leave these poor people alone’ until my contract expires,” the Master pointed out. “I’m very popular. They’ve brought my character back from certain death twice already. Have you been watching Days in the Lives of All My Children?, Doctor?”
“Why else would I come to Essex 16? Something terrible is happening here! More than just your pantomime acting.”
The Master scoffed. “You fail to appreciate the medium. During my confinement at Stangmore, I grew fond of Elsie Tanner of Coronation Street—”
While the Doctor ruined his daytime telly hypnosis, the Master couldn’t consider his career a total loss.
Magical Doctor Mistoffelees
Cheetah!Master and Eight
“It got rather out of hand,” the Doctor repeated, deadpan. Standing in a mass of Cheetah people and kitlings gnawing on the Daily Mail theater critic in a ruined West End theater, he felt they were a bit beyond that.
“They were too ‘Maddened by the Midnight Dance.’” The Master, sporting yellow eyes and the tattered remains of a Macavity costume, only just had the decency to look embarrassed. “The psychic energy emitted by a delighted audience could have pulled my Cheetahs free of that dying world. I might’ve amassed an army—”
“This,” the Doctor said, “is your worst idea.”
‘Failure to Achieve his Objectives’ism
Eight, Jacobi!Master
The Doctor was impressed the Master had ended the Time War in weeks. You could tell by the jibering.
“Yes, forcing my modified Libertarian Dalek to leaflet Skaro was genius, thank you, Doctor. Now, to take control of the Daleks for myself!”
“It’s never going to work,” the Doctor tried to warn him as a black Dalek rolled towards them, tailed by a standard silver model.
“MASTER.”
“Yes?”
“WE MUST FOLLOW CHOMSKY, BUT DALEK COMMANDER 08 CONTENDS AYN RAND HAS MERIT. ARBITRATE!”
The Master began to look worried. “I—”
The silver poked him with a plunger. “VALIDATE RON PAUL! VALIDATE!”
Rating: PG (Gen! I wrote gen!)
Author:
x_losPairing/Characters: Koschei, Brax, Delgado!Master, Six, Ainley!Master, Eight, Cheetah!Master, Jacobi!Master
Summary:
ushas42 asked for my "top five 'take over everything' Master!plots that we never saw because the Doctor foiled them off screen, someone else foiled them, or they just fell apart on their own. In chronological order.Senatorial Page
Koschei and Brax
(Think Ancient Rome, Not Harry Potter)
The newly elected Under-Chancellor cornered his Patronus in the hall.
“Four hours.”
“Hm?”
“I had to listen to Goth talk about ceremonial objects the Sash does and does not clash with for four hours.”
His Patronus smirked. “I’m hardly surprised the Chancellor thinks he’s a sartorial luminary. The work of government on Gallifrey largely consists of trivialities. And wearing neckerhats.”
“But when do I get to be President?”
“Never,” Braxiatel said with infinite repressed bitterness.
“Sod this,” Koschei decided, “I’ll con some lower species into letting me have real power. And a fancier title!”
Tic Tac Toe
Delgado!Master
Soon after he was elected President of the Tussini Empire, he ruined its impeccable reputation by annexing the weaker systems nearby. Resistance petered out in the new territories when their economies fared better under his control. Domestic opposition was dealt with discreetly. His hypnotic weekly addresses made the citizens feel safe. His projected lifespan encompassed millennia. He could afford to amass still greater power slowly.
When he discovered the Doctor had been exiled and confined to planetary arrest—which explained why he hadn’t dropped in to try and upset the Master’s arrangements—he abandoned his bleak, solitary triumph with a strange relief.
If you’re wondering whether the Master’s Stefano, yes.
Ainley!Master and Six
“I can’t ‘leave these poor people alone’ until my contract expires,” the Master pointed out. “I’m very popular. They’ve brought my character back from certain death twice already. Have you been watching Days in the Lives of All My Children?, Doctor?”
“Why else would I come to Essex 16? Something terrible is happening here! More than just your pantomime acting.”
The Master scoffed. “You fail to appreciate the medium. During my confinement at Stangmore, I grew fond of Elsie Tanner of Coronation Street—”
While the Doctor ruined his daytime telly hypnosis, the Master couldn’t consider his career a total loss.
Magical Doctor Mistoffelees
Cheetah!Master and Eight
“It got rather out of hand,” the Doctor repeated, deadpan. Standing in a mass of Cheetah people and kitlings gnawing on the Daily Mail theater critic in a ruined West End theater, he felt they were a bit beyond that.
“They were too ‘Maddened by the Midnight Dance.’” The Master, sporting yellow eyes and the tattered remains of a Macavity costume, only just had the decency to look embarrassed. “The psychic energy emitted by a delighted audience could have pulled my Cheetahs free of that dying world. I might’ve amassed an army—”
“This,” the Doctor said, “is your worst idea.”
‘Failure to Achieve his Objectives’ism
Eight, Jacobi!Master
The Doctor was impressed the Master had ended the Time War in weeks. You could tell by the jibering.
“Yes, forcing my modified Libertarian Dalek to leaflet Skaro was genius, thank you, Doctor. Now, to take control of the Daleks for myself!”
“It’s never going to work,” the Doctor tried to warn him as a black Dalek rolled towards them, tailed by a standard silver model.
“MASTER.”
“Yes?”
“WE MUST FOLLOW CHOMSKY, BUT DALEK COMMANDER 08 CONTENDS AYN RAND HAS MERIT. ARBITRATE!”
The Master began to look worried. “I—”
The silver poked him with a plunger. “VALIDATE RON PAUL! VALIDATE!”
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no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 06:56 am (UTC)The Cats one is my favorite. The Doctor and the Master map very well onto Mistoffelees and Macavity.
...Oh god what is wrong with my brain. *whimpers*
Also, the Delgado!Master one is wonderfully poignant for such a small piece. ♥
no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 12:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 08:33 am (UTC)ps. I think you posted this twice to the same journal
no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 01:00 pm (UTC)After the communist Daleks in Brotherhood failed because they were too far over on that 'authoritarian' political map, clearly Libretarian Daleks are the answer. Except they're all such bastards they'd go objectivist and thus they'd be pretty much exactly like they were before...
no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 09:01 am (UTC)“But when do I get to be President?”
“Never,” Braxiatel said with infinite repressed bitterness.
oh, brax. you will be president! you will be president for TWO WHOLE MINUTES.
ho hum, so moving on. i found these all to be a bit tricky - in that for every single one i read it and went... what is the master's plan? what's going on here? and admittedly, that's sort of what happens in any episode the master's in ever, but usually it's a bit easier in fanfic. (sponsor would have been better than patronus, do we think?)
still, very funny once i got them. all, very funny. the last is lovely - the deadpan in the 'Cats' (that's a joke that got out of hand) is brilliant, both at the beginning and the end. i love.
the only other problem is your TERRIBLE use of the word panto. yes, that is what it means. yes, it's a perfectly valid description of the master's performance in anything, but NO, the sixth doctor would not use it in that way. he would say "pantomime, because he disapproves of shortening words.
why am i no fun? i do not know.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 01:11 pm (UTC)You know the fact that they /contained/ plans, even terrible ones, automatically puts them above like, several serials.
Also I wanted Patronus b/c the Roman Patron/Client relationship is so funny, and so very Gallifrey. "They were required to show up every morning as their patrons "levy" to see if there was any service that their patron required of them that day. "--you have to scramble at ass-crack-of-dawn-o'clock to your patron's house to see if he needs any errands run. I can't imagine them doing this without it being good.
LOOK I CHANGED IT, MAYBE IF WE WENT TO ONE IT WOULD BE OKAY. :(
no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 01:21 pm (UTC)and i am, in fact, also up on the patron thang, having studied classical civilisation in my youth (or at least, having attended some classes entitled classical civilisation), but i still feel that it's a bit like if the romans had had something called 'quidditch'. it's going to be recognised and make people go - brax is koschei's patronus, what now?
also (this is a very long comment):
You know the fact that they /contained/ plans, even terrible ones, automatically puts them above like, several serials.
thsi is true.
and if brax had put aside his love for romana and gone after the presidency properly, he would have got it eventually and held onto it. he has only himself to blame - she wasn't even a good president.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 01:28 pm (UTC)There has to be SOME way of not bankrupting yourself on that.
*sigh* Look, just because Rowling randomly appropriates Latin is no reason to fork over the language to her--though actually if that wasn't that random and the spell evolved out of some similar social context, that could be really cool...
Well, I mean. her goodness is arguable, maybe. She did, er, do okay first series? Made some treaties with other temporal powers? And stuff?
no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 01:38 pm (UTC)also, to keep talking about brax until it's really boring, the first couple of benny's are currently available from the official website for a fiver. if this isn't a sign that i should give nick briggs my money, i don't know what is.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 01:42 pm (UTC)I think
no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 10:21 am (UTC)Nonononono, I have a month before uni starts again, you're NOT doing this to me. *cowers*
I love the lot. Obviously the Master would be bored if he won without having a worthy opponent around.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 01:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 01:39 pm (UTC)See, that's how evil they are. They'd become Libertarian, and then start printing madly huge runs of Atlas Shrugged and spamming the galaxy with them.
I loved "Magical Doctor Mistoffelees," though. Your drabble has given the musical a reason to exist. XD
no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 01:46 pm (UTC)I kind of loathe Cats. Really loathe it. But I'd still go to the Master/Cheetah/Kitling revival.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-22 03:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-23 04:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-23 05:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 06:02 pm (UTC)"“WE MUST FOLLOW CHOMSKY, BUT DALEK COMMANDER 08 CONTENDS AYN RAND HAS MERIT. ARBITRATE!”"
"The silver poked him with a plunger. “VALIDATE RON PAUL! VALIDATE!”"
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! =D
no subject
Date: 2009-08-21 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 06:59 pm (UTC)These were so hilarious, all of them! :D
no subject
Date: 2009-08-21 02:23 am (UTC)VALIDAAATE!
Date: 2009-08-20 10:40 pm (UTC)well i say these drabbles are the BEST IDEA :D
Re: VALIDAAATE!
Date: 2009-08-21 02:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-21 11:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-23 04:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-23 07:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-23 08:16 pm (UTC)