Four Drabbles
Aug. 10th, 2009 11:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
x_losficTop five fictional characters (from other canons, or from his own) the Master should team up with.
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innocentsmith, PLEASE ALLOW ME TO ANSWER YOU IN THE FORM OF DRABBLES.
1) “I will not tolerate your interference!” The Master clutched the jacket he’d rescued from the vaporization chamber.
“As you say, sir,” Jeeves continued ironing. “Only—”
“Only what?”
“It’s nothing, sir, forgive me for having—”
”What, Jeeves?”
Jeeves sighed, as if it were being prized from him. “Last week when sir succeeded in capturing his amiable former school friend, the gentleman accepted a cup of tea after escaping his cell. During our conversation he expressed a decided preference.” Jeeves glanced at the Master’s velvet trousers, expression carefully neutral. “Apparently, sir formerly favored—”
The Master tossed him the jacket with a growl.
Jeeves & Ainley!Master
2) Even the Thoroughbred of Sin deferred to the Evil League of Evil’s division president during his periodic inspections.
“Doctor Horrible, I believe it was?” The Master was examining hoof-printed meeting minutes.
Emotionally catatonic in the wake of Penny’s death Billy might be. Suddenly smooth he was not. Confronted with an idol—a man so evil he made plastic floral arrangements terrifying—Billy produced a sound not unlike ‘beweezebub.’
“Excellent coat.”
“ThankyouImadeitmyself.”
The Master raised an eyebrow. Billy winced.
“Your freeze ray is not without promise.” The Master leaned forward, folded his hands. “Tell me, Horrible—have you applied for my internship program?”
Doctor Horrible & Delgado!Master: The Work Experience
3) “We came here for help winning the war, not so you could bill and coo at that madwoman.”
The Master controlled his smirk. “Captain Wrack is intriguing, powerful, and enjoys my company. Surely her attentions don’t bother you, Doctor.”
The Doctor’s scoffing “you wish” was lame and defensive as a retreating army.
“Then you won’t mind my spend the evening with our charming new ally. She’s invited me to a rather exclusive celebration of the accord.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“You’ve so often reminded me that my pursuits are no longer any concern of yours, my dear.”
The Doctor grabbed his arm.
Jacobi!Master, taking advantage of Captain Wrack (Eternal from “Enlightenment”) of the Good Ship ReallyReally Crazy to bother Time War!Eight
4) This may be cheating, but at some pointaralias and I decided Richelieu in the d’Artagnan Romances just was Ainley!Master. Really. Tell me you can un-see this. I would write the inevitable role-play and/or ‘abusing time travel!’sex (oh you know the Doctor loves those books—so much fencing), but I’ve yet to read the series (well, Man in the Iron Mask, but I remember fuck all), and movie!canon pains poor aralias. Also she’d point out that under no circumstances would any Musketeer shag the Cardinal, even in the most OOC role-play. Though you could probably get away with him just having stolen the uniform?
5) “Our descendant would never have an American accent, for one,” the Master sneered.
Q rolled his eyes in, the Doctor had to admit, a highly familiar fashion. “I know it defies belief, but you cretins stumble upon the Skasis Paradigm’s solution eventually—child’s play. After the planet’s destruction we made ourselves less vulnerable—thus the Continuum, which you’ve somehow managed to breach. Only you two could be so incomprehensibly irritating.”
“Gallifrey’s destruction?” the Master fixed on that enormously interesting point. “I don’t suppose I--”
“Hardly. That distinction belongs to grand-père deux here.”
“Now just a minute,” the Doctor protested.
Any of them* & Q—because I still think it could make sense and would be hilarious
The Master can never under any circumstances team up with:
1) Team Rocket—though with the mutual love of ever-more-ridiculous disguises and the similar success rate, they do seem fated.
2) Invader Zim—Delgado!Master especially can’t be allowed to trigger massive self-loathing and depression via the comparison the merest tattered shreds of self-awareness would immediately provoke
*though this is so clearly Ainley!Master and Five it’s not true.
innocentsmith, PLEASE ALLOW ME TO ANSWER YOU IN THE FORM OF DRABBLES.1) “I will not tolerate your interference!” The Master clutched the jacket he’d rescued from the vaporization chamber.
“As you say, sir,” Jeeves continued ironing. “Only—”
“Only what?”
“It’s nothing, sir, forgive me for having—”
”What, Jeeves?”
Jeeves sighed, as if it were being prized from him. “Last week when sir succeeded in capturing his amiable former school friend, the gentleman accepted a cup of tea after escaping his cell. During our conversation he expressed a decided preference.” Jeeves glanced at the Master’s velvet trousers, expression carefully neutral. “Apparently, sir formerly favored—”
The Master tossed him the jacket with a growl.
Jeeves & Ainley!Master
2) Even the Thoroughbred of Sin deferred to the Evil League of Evil’s division president during his periodic inspections.
“Doctor Horrible, I believe it was?” The Master was examining hoof-printed meeting minutes.
Emotionally catatonic in the wake of Penny’s death Billy might be. Suddenly smooth he was not. Confronted with an idol—a man so evil he made plastic floral arrangements terrifying—Billy produced a sound not unlike ‘beweezebub.’
“Excellent coat.”
“ThankyouImadeitmyself.”
The Master raised an eyebrow. Billy winced.
“Your freeze ray is not without promise.” The Master leaned forward, folded his hands. “Tell me, Horrible—have you applied for my internship program?”
Doctor Horrible & Delgado!Master: The Work Experience
3) “We came here for help winning the war, not so you could bill and coo at that madwoman.”
The Master controlled his smirk. “Captain Wrack is intriguing, powerful, and enjoys my company. Surely her attentions don’t bother you, Doctor.”
The Doctor’s scoffing “you wish” was lame and defensive as a retreating army.
“Then you won’t mind my spend the evening with our charming new ally. She’s invited me to a rather exclusive celebration of the accord.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“You’ve so often reminded me that my pursuits are no longer any concern of yours, my dear.”
The Doctor grabbed his arm.
Jacobi!Master, taking advantage of Captain Wrack (Eternal from “Enlightenment”) of the Good Ship ReallyReally Crazy to bother Time War!Eight
4) This may be cheating, but at some point
aralias and I decided Richelieu in the d’Artagnan Romances just was Ainley!Master. Really. Tell me you can un-see this. I would write the inevitable role-play and/or ‘abusing time travel!’sex (oh you know the Doctor loves those books—so much fencing), but I’ve yet to read the series (well, Man in the Iron Mask, but I remember fuck all), and movie!canon pains poor aralias. Also she’d point out that under no circumstances would any Musketeer shag the Cardinal, even in the most OOC role-play. Though you could probably get away with him just having stolen the uniform?5) “Our descendant would never have an American accent, for one,” the Master sneered.
Q rolled his eyes in, the Doctor had to admit, a highly familiar fashion. “I know it defies belief, but you cretins stumble upon the Skasis Paradigm’s solution eventually—child’s play. After the planet’s destruction we made ourselves less vulnerable—thus the Continuum, which you’ve somehow managed to breach. Only you two could be so incomprehensibly irritating.”
“Gallifrey’s destruction?” the Master fixed on that enormously interesting point. “I don’t suppose I--”
“Hardly. That distinction belongs to grand-père deux here.”
“Now just a minute,” the Doctor protested.
Any of them* & Q—because I still think it could make sense and would be hilarious
The Master can never under any circumstances team up with:
1) Team Rocket—though with the mutual love of ever-more-ridiculous disguises and the similar success rate, they do seem fated.
2) Invader Zim—Delgado!Master especially can’t be allowed to trigger massive self-loathing and depression via the comparison the merest tattered shreds of self-awareness would immediately provoke
*though this is so clearly Ainley!Master and Five it’s not true.
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no subject
Date: 2009-08-11 05:32 am (UTC)I continue to long for the full-length version of Jeeves as the Master's Companion. Because oh hell yes. But all the rest of these are just amazing, too, and I want more of all of them.
You speak truth about Cardinal Richelieu. Though now I'm remembering Tim Curry's Richelieu in that one Disney Musketeers movie and it's all blurring together in a way I'm frankly uncomfortable (and somewhat turned on) with.
Q is SO the spawn of Ainley!Master and Five. ♥
no subject
Date: 2009-08-11 11:34 pm (UTC)See?! Seeeeeee?! Costume sex! For a fandom that travels in time, where is the period costume!sex?!
Eh, I dunno which incarnations are most guilty of gene donation, but I do know which are hapless enough to trip and fall into the continuum...
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Date: 2009-08-11 05:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-11 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-11 08:34 am (UTC)WHERE IS THAT FULL LENGTH JEEVES FIC? you said you were writing it before i even started talking to you, for rassilon's sake.
also, billy, billy, billy. that is so cute and lovely. yes, win.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-11 11:39 pm (UTC)The Cardinal points at Ainley!Master and laughs
Date: 2009-08-11 10:49 am (UTC)a) doesn't chuckle, though he's good with sarcasm
b) actually is successful with most of his schemes (the only one the musketeers foil is the minor one with the Queen's jewelry, not the major one to get Buckingham killed so the English won't interfere with the siege of La Rochelle)
c) isn't obsessed with anyone
d) isn't after the top job (this was very confusing for the more recent American scriptwriters for Disney, who came up with some throne stealing stuff instead of the organizing-the-assassination-of-foreign-leaders stuff reminding them uncomfortably of their own politicians, I suppose) and quite content to be the power behind the throne.
Not to mention that he thinks duels are stupid (and an exceedingly wasteful way to get a lot of potentially useful people killed).
In conclusion: not only doesn't he resemble Ainley!Master, but he doesn't resemble any version of the Master.
Lastly, considering that the Musketeers in "20 years after", when Richelieu is dead, fanboy him and want him back, you can't even be sure about the (not) shagging.
Then he's found a mirror and is trying the latest 'evil laugh' out!
Date: 2009-08-11 02:32 pm (UTC)1) beardy, loves big foofy Cardinal's robe.
2) his plans may be successful because they're relatively limited in scope--manipulate some humans. Also I'd argue that a good chunk of the Thirty Years War can be attributed to the sort of over-confident over-extension we know and love.
3) Noooo, of course he isn't, the Doctor never shows up.
4) Ah, now admittedly, Ainley!Master would somehow re-engineer the monarchy or something fucking ridiculous so he could /actually/ be King rather than just being de-facto in charge. It can't be him. But one of the sneakier ones might do it.
Clearly the duels just aren't convenient for him--he wouldn't think it was fun if his Orgon minions dueled either, despite his lack of general dispparobation for the activity. Dueling's for people who matter.
Well that's perfectly understandable, from the /very little/ I remember Mazarin is lame, and sounds like a confection.
Really, he doesn't have to BE him, but the Master would totally put the real one on ice and impersonate him for a while until he was foiled.
Re: Then he's found a mirror and is trying the latest 'evil laugh' out!
Date: 2009-08-11 03:37 pm (UTC)Thirty Year War: actually, France did quite well out of that one. The German territories were the ones reduced to half of the population, thanks a lot, Gustaf Adolf and Wallenstein.
Mazarin: here I have to differentiate between the historical one and Dumas' version. Dumas' version IS lame, but history's Mazarin was not, which is another point in Richelieu's favour. Because as opposed to most other ambitious men with a big ego, Richelieu never believed he was immortal or that not allowing someone capable to grow beside you was a good idea for the country. So he hand picked young Giulio Mazarini who had impressed him on a diplomatic mission, seduced him away from Italy and made him into his protegé. After the young 'un showed he was capable through the years , Richelieu had him made cardinal so that by the time he, R., was on his deathbed, he got Louis XIII to promise to hand over goverment business directly to Mazarin. Where it remained until Mazarin's own death of old age early under Louis XIV, and since Le Roi Soleil was a student of Mazarin's, you might say it had been a good choice.
Really, he doesn't have to BE him, but the Master would totally put the real one on ice and impersonate him for a while until he was foiled.
Richelieu was living with a lot of clever, strong willed people, I'll have you know. Mazarin aside, there was his favourite niece, Marie D'Aiguillon, who by all accounts was one tough cookie.
... Mind you, I can see comedy potential in ONE particular regard if the Master impersonated him. Because Louis XIII actually did stuff like throw tantrums in Richelieu's vicinity about his son not smiling when Louis came into the nursery and crying instead, and surely that was proof that Anne had poisoned the boy's mind against him, etc., etc.? So the de facto prime minister who really had other stuff to do with his spare time had to play guidance counsellor and mutter soothing reassurances that the boy really really liked Daddy, don't worry. (We have that in writing.)
...Delgado might have done it, if he absolutely had to. But no way he'd have resisted the temptation to kill Louis if it happened more than once.
Re: The Cardinal points at Ainley!Master and laughs
Date: 2009-08-11 03:01 pm (UTC)Re: The Cardinal points at Ainley!Master and laughs
Date: 2009-08-11 03:26 pm (UTC)Re: The Cardinal points at Ainley!Master and laughs
Date: 2009-08-11 04:58 pm (UTC)Re: The Cardinal points at Ainley!Master and laughs
Date: 2009-08-11 11:37 pm (UTC)Five Things the Master Learned to Impress the Doctor that totally failed to work would be a sad, sad list, but 'learning French and reading a lot of French human novels before he figured out the Doctor only cared about /England/' is def. on it.
Re: The Cardinal points at Ainley!Master and laughs
Date: 2009-08-12 02:12 am (UTC)They have tea there and lots of his old friends, and a handy way to freak out the Brigadier by bypassing the translators and just sitting down to have a chat.
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Date: 2009-08-11 03:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-11 11:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 08:40 pm (UTC)