Cat Nip

Feb. 14th, 2010 01:40 am
x_losfic: (Five/Ainley!Master)
Title: Cat Nip
Author: [livejournal.com profile] x_los 
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Five/Cheetah!Master
Summary: The Doctor doesn't think of himself as a cat person, but cats tend to believe otherwise.
Beta: [livejournal.com profile] aralias 
A/N: edited request for [livejournal.com profile] best_enemies  Anon Meme. if you'd like, here's the original version. TARDIS-speak concept is [livejournal.com profile] draegonhawke  's.



Cat Nip )

Cat Nip

Feb. 14th, 2010 01:40 am
x_losfic: (Five/Ainley!Master)
Title: Cat Nip
Author: [livejournal.com profile] x_los 
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Five/Cheetah!Master
Summary: The Doctor doesn't think of himself as a cat person, but cats tend to believe otherwise.
Beta: [livejournal.com profile] aralias 
A/N: edited request for [livejournal.com profile] best_enemies  Anon Meme. if you'd like, here's the original version. TARDIS-speak concept is [livejournal.com profile] draegonhawke  's.



Cat Nip )
x_losfic: (Default)
I've been amusedly thinking there needs to be a Kushner crossover, Angels Pretty Much Everywhere: An Omnisexual Fantasia on Galactic Themes, with Harper, Prior, Belieze and Mother Pitt on the TARDIS as companions. Prior totally sympathizes with Master re: that breakup.
x_losfic: (Default)
I've been amusedly thinking there needs to be a Kushner crossover, Angels Pretty Much Everywhere: An Omnisexual Fantasia on Galactic Themes, with Harper, Prior, Belieze and Mother Pitt on the TARDIS as companions. Prior totally sympathizes with Master re: that breakup.
x_losfic: (Default)

Title: Silver Bells, and Cockle Shells (coda to Quite Contrary)

Author: [personal profile] x_los 

Rating: PG

Pairing:  Ten/Simm!Master, girl!Doctor/girl!Master

Summary: Yet more morning after fluff!

A/N: request for [personal profile] order_of_chaos. Title from nursery rhyme "Mistress Mary, Quite Contrary," like the first one.



 

x_losfic: (Default)

Title: Silver Bells, and Cockle Shells (coda to Quite Contrary)

Author: [personal profile] x_los 

Rating: PG

Pairing:  Ten/Simm!Master, girl!Doctor/girl!Master

Summary: Yet more morning after fluff!

A/N: request for [personal profile] order_of_chaos. Title from nursery rhyme "Mistress Mary, Quite Contrary," like the first one.



 

x_losfic: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: *HAS COME UP WITH A STUNNING IDEA FOR SPOILED FOR CHOICE*
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: When coming out of his coma, in his weakened state, the Doctor has in fact fallen victim to the cheetah virus
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: And so to prove his truuuuueee luuuuufff, the Master becomes a cheetahman as well.
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: And turns the Valliant into a whimsical jungle, full of antelope and water buffalo
Chapter 8 is full of hot and steamy cheetahsex, as well as a special appearance of goosnake* aka the water moccasin that lives down in the basement
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: For it was then that the Master realized that his grand evil empire was worthless and dull compared to the sight of the Doctor chomping away at a steaming deer carcass.
Me: YES?
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: YES.
Me: YES!
Me: AUGH
Me: I HATE YOU SOOOOO MUCH
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: I THINK YOU MEAN "LOVE AND AM GOING TO WRITE THIS IN CHAPTER 8"

*Goosnake: Our ‘affectionate’ name for whatever the fuck happened to the Master in the eight movie, where he gained magical freakin’ powers and transformed into what appears to be part Cobra, part one of those goo toys with the plastic wrappers that slide in your hands and are hard to hold onto and may have like little fish inside, all Time Lord.
x_losfic: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: *HAS COME UP WITH A STUNNING IDEA FOR SPOILED FOR CHOICE*
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: When coming out of his coma, in his weakened state, the Doctor has in fact fallen victim to the cheetah virus
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: And so to prove his truuuuueee luuuuufff, the Master becomes a cheetahman as well.
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: And turns the Valliant into a whimsical jungle, full of antelope and water buffalo
Chapter 8 is full of hot and steamy cheetahsex, as well as a special appearance of goosnake* aka the water moccasin that lives down in the basement
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: For it was then that the Master realized that his grand evil empire was worthless and dull compared to the sight of the Doctor chomping away at a steaming deer carcass.
Me: YES?
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: YES.
Me: YES!
Me: AUGH
Me: I HATE YOU SOOOOO MUCH
[livejournal.com profile] gothic_hamlet: I THINK YOU MEAN "LOVE AND AM GOING TO WRITE THIS IN CHAPTER 8"

*Goosnake: Our ‘affectionate’ name for whatever the fuck happened to the Master in the eight movie, where he gained magical freakin’ powers and transformed into what appears to be part Cobra, part one of those goo toys with the plastic wrappers that slide in your hands and are hard to hold onto and may have like little fish inside, all Time Lord.
x_losfic: (Eight)
Written as part of an on-going competition to out-crack [profile] gothic_hamlet. Sorry about 3 little postlets in one day! *boggles* I'm never as much of an f-list clog as this!

Title: Less Subtle

Author: [personal profile] x_los 

Rating: R

Pairing: Ten/Master

Summary: Ten/Laser Screwdriver (which is actually less dildo-esque than the TCE). Title is from the flavor-text of the Laser Screwdriver toy advertisement, which describes it as a less subtle version of the Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver.

Exactly 100 words, excepting the title.


This was bad. This was psychotic, co-dependent, ‘nowhere near the appropriate stages of grief’ bad. You were supposed to write Year of Magical Thinking, or up stakes to Boca, not—

He eased the tool in. Bigger and better than his, as the Master had (repeatedly) observed on the Valliant. Ribbed with none-too-subtle ridges, as if it were designed with this, with him, in mind. Considering all the times the Master had violated him in the manner he was trying so desperately to recreate, it probably had been. He choked on a laugh. The Master had been right. Who’d have sonic?




Title: "No, Seriously, The Enemy Within"

Author: [personal profile] x_los 

Rating: R

Pairing:  Eight/Master

Summary: Eight/Goosnake!Master (oh sweet god no)

Exactly 100 words, excepting the title.



“How did you manage to take snake form?” the Doctor panted, “Or escape the Eye of Harmony? Or—”

“Shhh,” the Master hissed (It might have just been ‘Sssss’—hard to tell.). As a gooey cobra, he twined up into the Doctor in ways he’d never managed while anthropomorphic.

“Guh!” the Doctor squeaked, struggling, pawing at the toolbox he’d brought to fix the Eye for leverage. The strong serpentine body curled around his leg had other plans. It snapped him back, slinked from his arse and gagged him until he lost consciousness.

The Master slithered off to restore his body, smugly satisfied.
x_losfic: (Eight)
Written as part of an on-going competition to out-crack [profile] gothic_hamlet. Sorry about 3 little postlets in one day! *boggles* I'm never as much of an f-list clog as this!

Title: Less Subtle

Author: [personal profile] x_los 

Rating: R

Pairing: Ten/Master

Summary: Ten/Laser Screwdriver (which is actually less dildo-esque than the TCE). Title is from the flavor-text of the Laser Screwdriver toy advertisement, which describes it as a less subtle version of the Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver.

Exactly 100 words, excepting the title.


This was bad. This was psychotic, co-dependent, ‘nowhere near the appropriate stages of grief’ bad. You were supposed to write Year of Magical Thinking, or up stakes to Boca, not—

He eased the tool in. Bigger and better than his, as the Master had (repeatedly) observed on the Valliant. Ribbed with none-too-subtle ridges, as if it were designed with this, with him, in mind. Considering all the times the Master had violated him in the manner he was trying so desperately to recreate, it probably had been. He choked on a laugh. The Master had been right. Who’d have sonic?




Title: "No, Seriously, The Enemy Within"

Author: [personal profile] x_los 

Rating: R

Pairing:  Eight/Master

Summary: Eight/Goosnake!Master (oh sweet god no)

Exactly 100 words, excepting the title.



“How did you manage to take snake form?” the Doctor panted, “Or escape the Eye of Harmony? Or—”

“Shhh,” the Master hissed (It might have just been ‘Sssss’—hard to tell.). As a gooey cobra, he twined up into the Doctor in ways he’d never managed while anthropomorphic.

“Guh!” the Doctor squeaked, struggling, pawing at the toolbox he’d brought to fix the Eye for leverage. The strong serpentine body curled around his leg had other plans. It snapped him back, slinked from his arse and gagged him until he lost consciousness.

The Master slithered off to restore his body, smugly satisfied.
x_losfic: (Default)
*from aim convo w/ [profile] blinkidybah  *


It occurred to me today that if given the opportunity, Doctor will produce sproglets until he, spouse and children can field their own cricket team.

Annoyed!Master Sproglets: "GAWD WHY ARE WE SO BRITISH?!"

Master: "GAWD I WISH I KNEW. Have some tea, pretend you care about the game and think of England and/or your father's sad, sad eyes if you refuse to play with him." *sneaks stealthily off to avoid Das Cricketing--maybe breaking into an undignified all out run somewhere in there*

Doctor: *makes matching family uniforms with unholy joy in his eyes*

Daughters: *receive cricket bats for birthdays* “Dad, I wanted sonic lipstick. And like, a Doomsday Device. You suck.”

Doctor: *slow lip wibble, then SOBBING*

Daughters: "No, shit, stop it! I love you and some sappy bullshit! AUGH!"

Doctor: *sniffle* "If you loved me, you'd practice your b-b-b-boooowls!"

Daughters: "...you know, when Papa says you're an 'emotionally manipulative fuck'? He's not just using a really quirky endearment."


[profile] blinkidybah  : god so like. clearly there needs to be a picture of the doctor gleefully surrounded by a tiny cricket team 

They say that if you scream loud enough, the magical [profile] gothic_hamlet  in the sky Merto New England Area hears you, and draws you crack... *HINT*

UPDATE:  With like, 5th giving two GIANT thumbs up, and Master's coat in the very corner b/c he's RUNNING.
x_losfic: (Default)
*from aim convo w/ [profile] blinkidybah  *


It occurred to me today that if given the opportunity, Doctor will produce sproglets until he, spouse and children can field their own cricket team.

Annoyed!Master Sproglets: "GAWD WHY ARE WE SO BRITISH?!"

Master: "GAWD I WISH I KNEW. Have some tea, pretend you care about the game and think of England and/or your father's sad, sad eyes if you refuse to play with him." *sneaks stealthily off to avoid Das Cricketing--maybe breaking into an undignified all out run somewhere in there*

Doctor: *makes matching family uniforms with unholy joy in his eyes*

Daughters: *receive cricket bats for birthdays* “Dad, I wanted sonic lipstick. And like, a Doomsday Device. You suck.”

Doctor: *slow lip wibble, then SOBBING*

Daughters: "No, shit, stop it! I love you and some sappy bullshit! AUGH!"

Doctor: *sniffle* "If you loved me, you'd practice your b-b-b-boooowls!"

Daughters: "...you know, when Papa says you're an 'emotionally manipulative fuck'? He's not just using a really quirky endearment."


[profile] blinkidybah  : god so like. clearly there needs to be a picture of the doctor gleefully surrounded by a tiny cricket team 

They say that if you scream loud enough, the magical [profile] gothic_hamlet  in the sky Merto New England Area hears you, and draws you crack... *HINT*

UPDATE:  With like, 5th giving two GIANT thumbs up, and Master's coat in the very corner b/c he's RUNNING.

Fourteen

Mar. 19th, 2008 07:11 pm
x_losfic: (Best Enemies)
Title: Fourteen

Author: x_los

Rating: R

Pairing: Theta/Koschei

Summary: "They were sleeping together at eight. In the literal ‘sharing a bed’ sense. "

Beta: [livejournal.com profile] darthsemicolon , who made the picnic bit intelligible and is responsible for the crackalicious expanded section on Koschei's other dreams. Thanks!

A/N: For the [livejournal.com profile] best_enemies   Academy Relationship Challenge


Fourteen )

Fourteen

Mar. 19th, 2008 07:11 pm
x_losfic: (Best Enemies)
Title: Fourteen

Author: x_los

Rating: R

Pairing: Theta/Koschei

Summary: "They were sleeping together at eight. In the literal ‘sharing a bed’ sense. "

Beta: [livejournal.com profile] darthsemicolon , who made the picnic bit intelligible and is responsible for the crackalicious expanded section on Koschei's other dreams. Thanks!

A/N: For the [livejournal.com profile] best_enemies   Academy Relationship Challenge


Fourteen )
x_losfic: (Default)
The milled porridge was a warm salty weight in his mouth. He tongued the soft, buttery lump, licking traces from his lips.

“Oh Doctor,” he moaned, “you were so right—breakfast of champions.”

“And are you sorry for mocking a ‘silly human regional peccadillo,’ just because you didn’t understand it?”

“So penitent I might be willing to demonstrate my appreciation of salty flavors. It’s only been a few hours, but do you, like the South, rise again?”

“Shush or you’ll see less action than Maine did.”

“And here I was hoping you’d take me like Sherman through Georgia.”

“…I hate you.”
x_losfic: (Default)
The milled porridge was a warm salty weight in his mouth. He tongued the soft, buttery lump, licking traces from his lips.

“Oh Doctor,” he moaned, “you were so right—breakfast of champions.”

“And are you sorry for mocking a ‘silly human regional peccadillo,’ just because you didn’t understand it?”

“So penitent I might be willing to demonstrate my appreciation of salty flavors. It’s only been a few hours, but do you, like the South, rise again?”

“Shush or you’ll see less action than Maine did.”

“And here I was hoping you’d take me like Sherman through Georgia.”

“…I hate you.”
x_losfic: (Ten)
Society for Creative Anachronism: Ten and Ainley!Master do the Ren Faire

The Doctor laughed for five minutes solid as the Master tugged his silver-encrusted collar, attempting to wait out the humiliation.

“Let me guess: you come here to feel impressive because you’re more historically accurate?”

“And better dressed,” the Master growled.

“You’re such an anorak!”

“And you’re here, glomping me, because you appreciate turkey legs and over-priced ciders, or because you’ve lost me to some catastrophe and in a fit of remorse you’re violating your own time line to track me down?”

The Doctor winced visibly. Coughed.

“Wanna go correct anal-retentive SCA members?”

Smirk. “Why Doctor, I thought you’ve never ask.”


Golden Retriever (I was thinking of Girl!Crack and their dog)


“You can’t feed the dog on dreams, Doctor, it’s not one of your insipid companions. Eventually you’re going to cave and go to the Tesco.”

“I’m never leaving the bed. You’ll have to build extensions onto the frame and headboard if there’s anything you expect me to do.”

“I know I’m exquisitely good, but even I’m not a replacement for Alpo.”

“Why’d we get a dog anyway?”

“You said if you were doing domestic you were going all out.”

The Doctor groaned into the pillow, defeated. “Fine. Let’s hope I can find money.”

"Oh don't fret, Doctor. I have coupons!"




And I'm going to re-watch Ghost Busters before writing Martha Saves Manhattan.
x_losfic: (Ten)
Society for Creative Anachronism: Ten and Ainley!Master do the Ren Faire

The Doctor laughed for five minutes solid as the Master tugged his silver-encrusted collar, attempting to wait out the humiliation.

“Let me guess: you come here to feel impressive because you’re more historically accurate?”

“And better dressed,” the Master growled.

“You’re such an anorak!”

“And you’re here, glomping me, because you appreciate turkey legs and over-priced ciders, or because you’ve lost me to some catastrophe and in a fit of remorse you’re violating your own time line to track me down?”

The Doctor winced visibly. Coughed.

“Wanna go correct anal-retentive SCA members?”

Smirk. “Why Doctor, I thought you’ve never ask.”


Golden Retriever (I was thinking of Girl!Crack and their dog)


“You can’t feed the dog on dreams, Doctor, it’s not one of your insipid companions. Eventually you’re going to cave and go to the Tesco.”

“I’m never leaving the bed. You’ll have to build extensions onto the frame and headboard if there’s anything you expect me to do.”

“I know I’m exquisitely good, but even I’m not a replacement for Alpo.”

“Why’d we get a dog anyway?”

“You said if you were doing domestic you were going all out.”

The Doctor groaned into the pillow, defeated. “Fine. Let’s hope I can find money.”

"Oh don't fret, Doctor. I have coupons!"




And I'm going to re-watch Ghost Busters before writing Martha Saves Manhattan.
x_losfic: (Seven)
Title: Survival Take One: Failure Rate

Author: x_los

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Seven/Ainley!Master

Summary: Crack!Response to Survival. The Master employs amazing long-term pick-up strategies, at the expense of the Doctor's sanity and Bernaz the Sentient Muskrat of Woe.

Beta: The lovely [personal profile] bagheera_san , who made this much more fun.

A/N: While [personal profile] bagheera_san  joked that "the serious!fic could be the sequel to this! Which would be both comic and tragic," which was actually pretty awesome, they're written as detached, non-linear perspectives.

x_losfic: (Seven)
Title: Survival Take One: Failure Rate

Author: x_los

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Seven/Ainley!Master

Summary: Crack!Response to Survival. The Master employs amazing long-term pick-up strategies, at the expense of the Doctor's sanity and Bernaz the Sentient Muskrat of Woe.

Beta: The lovely [personal profile] bagheera_san , who made this much more fun.

A/N: While [personal profile] bagheera_san  joked that "the serious!fic could be the sequel to this! Which would be both comic and tragic," which was actually pretty awesome, they're written as detached, non-linear perspectives.

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x_losfic: (Default)
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